Those greedy folks whose pension payments eat up all our taxes but were in their prime at a time when they could afford a decent home without a mortgage eating up their entire wage packet each month. Those damn old people. They don’t know they’re born, do they?
Why not stumble in the shoes of those old enough not only to remember the day man first walked on the moon, but also the now oft-forgotten day after, when the fact Neil Armstrong was being hoisted on strings across a leftover set from Barbarella on a soundstage somewhere in Hollywood was revealed to the world and, subsequently, covered up.
Just Die Already takes place in the near future at a time where population growth has stalled to zero, presumably because having to wear a mask at all times somewhat hinders any amorous encounters. As a result, nobody is being born, nobody is paying into the pension pot, and nobody is covering your living costs.
To make things worse, you’ve just been kicked out of your retirement home, and your only option now is to perform dangerous challenges to qualify for free care. Players can either take on Just Die Already alone or compete in four-player online multiplayer, ticking off dangerous challenges that put your life – and, indeed, every single bone in your body – in pure peril.
You’ll get hit by cars, you’ll lose the odd limb or two, and you’ll smash into the ground after launching yourself from a catapult, all in the process of earning that spot at a prized retirement home.
More game features:
- Be old, be bold – You get to be an old person. Angry, fragile, poor and hating the world: the dream you didn’t know you had until now. Finally, you have found something in common with your grandparents.
- Break a leg, and neck! – Discover the joys of being old and made of glass, anything can break you and you can break your everything.
- Dont try this at (retirement) home! – Complete dangerous challenges that you will never ever try at home and answer existential questions like: can you launch yourself from a catapult and land on someone? Or, can you survive losing your head, grabbing it and whacking someone with it?
- Mission Retire! – Earn rewards by completing dangerous challenges, your goal? To qualify for a proper retirement home. That makes perfect sense. Word of advice: try and stay in one piece so you can enjoy it in the end…
- Sandbox Multiplayer – Play alone, or with up to 4 players in online multiplayer. Complete challenges together, or just cause mayhem and rip your friends’ limbs off!
- Embrace your inner boomer – Wreak havoc on the millennial and zoomer population (we forgot Generation X, just like everyone else). NPCs react differently depending on their age – some will laugh and clap at others getting hurt while others will run away in terror.